


setting up my own shame

by pleasekalemenow



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Miscommunication, Multi, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic, degradation kink, dubcon, eventually, kind of. he's immortal so it's just for convenience, projection time babey!!, self-confidence issues, sex as self-harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pleasekalemenow/pseuds/pleasekalemenow
Summary: Marius knew full well that the main thing he had to offer the crew was sex, but he tried to be fine with that.He really tried.---Title is from "Melancolia" by Caravan Palace.
Relationships: Drumbot Brian & Marius von Raum, Drumbot Brian/Marius von Raum
Comments: 29
Kudos: 83
Collections: The Mechanisms After Dark





	setting up my own shame

Byron von Raum was the kind of person who got three different PhDs just so he wouldn’t feel inferior, and managed to feel inferior anyway. When that sad bastard died, Marius von Raum hoped to improve on the formula. He was charismatic as fuck! He was good in bed! He had all kinds of knowledge at his disposal and all the time in the universe to acquire more! He had a metal hand that was great for jerking it! Without death to stop him, he really thought things were looking up for him, especially when he ended up running with the Mechanisms. They had been immortal forever, so they had to basically be like a family by this point. 

Unfortunately, as it turned out, they were more like  _ his _ family than the space Brady Bunch, so they seemed to hate each other most of the time and they couldn’t even muster up enough emotions about Marius to bother hating him. He would crack a joke and they’d roll their eyes, leave the room, shoot him in the chest. He’d pull out the violin during practice and they’d threaten to break it—they already  _ had _ a violinist, and apparently they’d never heard the basic goddamn concept of having multiple parts for the same instrument before so they didn’t need a second. Although, on second thought, he’d definitely seen more than one person on the guitar at once before, so it was more likely that they just didn’t want him around. Which was probably reasonable—he tended to ramble when he got anxious and he was anxious in new situations and around people he wanted to impress and the more they got annoyed with him the more he wanted to impress them the more anxious he got the more annoyed they got and it was just...a mess. But it was fine. Marius was no stranger to the concept of wearing people down, and he had an eternity to get them to acquire his shitty taste. In the meantime, he was a master of small talk, and he could just abuse that power. 

“What are you thinking about?” he asked Brian one evening (? Maybe? Hard to tell on a ship sometimes) when he caught the man staring at him. 

“How baffled I am at your insistence to stick around the Aurora despite the fact that you have nothing to offer the crew that we don’t already have,” he responded pleasantly. 

Marius felt like he’d been punched in the stomach, and that actually meant something coming from him, given how often he’d been literally gut punched. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You just don’t have anything to do on this ship. You’re not a real doctor, and if you were, we wouldn’t need that anyway; we already have a violinist, and a damn good one at that; and you’ve proven yourself to be a bit of an idiot and more than a little annoying, running your mouth constantly. I don’t know why Jonny hasn’t shoved you in the airlock yet.”

Brian stared at him with no change in expression, as though he hadn’t just ripped his heart out and torn it to pieces in front of him as he bled out. Marius knew his gun wasn’t a permanent solution anymore, but it would do the trick nicely to get him the fuck out of this conversation, so he put it in his mouth and squeezed. 

When his skull was finished stitching itself back together, he realized very quickly that he was seated on Brian’s lap, brass arms and legs locking him firmly in place. He couldn’t help but feel a little turned on by the situation, and his shame over how fucking touch starved he apparently was only fueled his growing erection. 

“Why did you do that?” Brian’s voice was genuinely curious, but his breath was hot against Marius’s neck, and he bit his lip, grateful that the other man couldn’t see him. 

“What do you mean?”

“You shot yourself.”

“No fucking duh, I mean why are you pretending not to know?” He tries to shake off Brian’s arms, but his grip only tightens, which, unfortunately, isn’t helping his situation. Nor is the feeling of Brian sighing against his neck. His gun is right on the table, he could get out of this if he could  _ just— _

“Because I don’t know? You asked a question, I answered honestly. Did you not want to know what I was thinking about?”

“I was making  _ small talk _ , Brian, I wasn’t expecting you to call me a waste of space for that.”

“I didn’t call you that.”

“Right, you just called me a useless, annoying idiot.” Brian’s legs, bracketed around his, were keeping him locked in place, as well as keeping his legs spread fairly wide. Fuck, he needed to keep it together. This wasn’t the time for his degradation kink to act up. Or his robot kink, for that matter. Fuck. 

“I didn’t call you useless, per se. Just saying, if you have a use, you certainly haven’t shown it yet.”

“You do see how you’re making this situation  _ worse _ , right?”

“What situation would that be?”

For a horrifying moment, he thought perhaps Brian was aware of the tent at the front of his trousers, but the words were coming from squarely between his shoulder blades. He couldn’t know. God, he hoped he didn’t know. “Th-the situation where you’re making me feel like absolute shit.”

“Oh.” Brian pauses. “I’m sorry.” Marius opens his mouth to say it’s fine, he didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, anyway, but Brian continues and makes everything so much worse. “I have this...switch? It affects my morality, and with the mode I’m in I can’t say anything untrue.”

Well. Fuck. Idiot brain kicked rational brain into the passenger seat at this point, grinding down on the lap he was seated on with vicious intensity. 

“You don’t think I have anything to offer? I have  _ plenty _ to offer.” He grit his teeth in anger even as his cock throbbed. “Let go of me and I’ll show you just how  _ useful _ I can be. Or, hell, just turn me around. You think I’m good at running my mouth? That’s not the only thing my mouth is good at.”

Brian tensed up for a moment, and he thought maybe he’d managed to fuck things up even worse somehow, but then he felt him chuckle and he wiggled his hips a bit despite himself. 

“You know, I require a bit more  _ finesse _ than people with traditional bodies, Marius. I don’t think you’ll be able to even get me off.”

“Why don’t you let me go then and we’ll find out. I’m a quick study.”

There was a pause. “If you go for the gun, when you come to you’ll be strapped to a table with my switch flipped and you won’t be getting off the table for as long as the ends justify the means.”

Marius wasn’t even sure what that meant, but something about the weight he put behind his words went straight to his dick, so he nodded, almost tempted to go for the gun just to see what he meant. But when Brian released him, he didn’t go for the gun, just scrambled to his knees and went for Brian’s zipper. 

“Eager to please, are we?” Brian’s tone was amused as Marius removed his trousers and pants, stroking his curls lightly in a way close enough to tenderness that it made his heart ache. 

“Yes,” he admitted, nothing short of intimidated by the cock before him. It wasn’t even fully up yet, which raised (heh) a million questions about roboerections, but it was larger than anything he’d ever seen outside of porn. He was frankly glad he’d promised his mouth, because it had been a while and there was no way he could prep himself well enough to take that thing. 

At the base it looked like there might have been something that detached, so maybe this wasn’t his only option, but he was definitely just staring now, and that wouldn’t do, so he took in the view one last time—his open legs, the gaps in his plating at the place where his thighs met his pelvis, the wires he could see through those gaps, and the massive metal dick gleaming at him like something from his teenage wet dreams. Then he dove in. 

He liked to surprise people when going down on them for the first time, usually, by taking them down to the hilt all at once. That wouldn’t work here, for obvious reasons, and even his unprecedented hubris knew some bounds, so he started slowly, lavishing the tip with his tongue, using plenty of spit and suction, but when he looked up Brian didn’t seem nearly as affected as he would have hoped. He didn’t look  _ un _ affected either, though, so he continued, working his way down Brian’s dick slowly and deliberately, although this earned only a few contented hums. By the time he’d worked his way down to the base, his throat was definitely bleeding, and Brian was breathing a bit heavily but not nearly as much as he should have been given Marius’s tried and true fellatio skills. Uni had been full of oral exams of many varieties for him. 

Still, he didn’t spend two years in an improv club for nothing, and on a whim, he brought his fingers slowly up towards the exposed wires, and when Brian said nothing to stop him, he tentatively pinched one between his fingers and Brian gasped. 

“Clever mouth  _ and _ clever fingers. Maybe I was wrong about you.” He sounded a bit breathy, and Marius smiled around his cock, pinching again, and grabbing another wire to press them together experimentally. Another gasp. This was good. He’d always been a hands-on learner, and even if he didn’t know what he was doing, he was pretty sure he was doing a damn good job at it if the noises Brian was making were any indication. His jaw was beginning to ache though, in a way that wasn’t super sexy, and so he pulled off, dipping his head down to work his tongue over the wires he wasn’t working with his fingers, but Brian stopped him with one sharp tug on his hair that he wished lasted longer. 

“Cock in your mouth. Fingers on the wires.”

Never one to disobey an order given nice and hard like that, he pulled his head back from the wires, sparing a glance at Brian while he panted for a bit before going back to work earnestly. Brian gave a shaky laugh. 

“God, you really are a slut. I hurt your feelings and you get hard from it, and you reward me for being callous by sucking me off.” Brian’s voice was gentle even now, and he couldn’t lie, and Marius knew everything he was saying to be true already but hearing it from someone who could only tell the truth was something entirely different. He put his cock back in his mouth and squeezed his fingers around the wires. Brian moaned. 

“You’re so desperate you were willing to put your tongue on live wires. Such a needy little whore. This is where you belong, isn’t it? On your knees?”

If tears fell, he had the excuse of gagging to cover for him. Brian couldn’t lie, but it was one of Marius’s only two skills these days. The other one, apparently, was working at wires until his fingers were numb while his jaw screamed at him to stop sucking on a giant metal dick and his own dick throbbed, neglected, in his trousers. It was all so much, too much, but apparently that was the case for Brian as well, because a shock went through the wires that almost made him let go and did make him yelp around the dick in his throat as the man bucked his hips up, and he realized that Brian had been warning him while he was lost in his own head but it was fine, there was no liquid, just slamming against the back of his throat that would bruise without his mechanism and electricity shooting up his arm (not the metal one, at least) that wasn’t entirely unpleasant but was a  _ lot _ , and then Brian was going still and there was a hand in his hair and a hand stilling the ministrations of his fingers, pulling him up and in for a weirdly chaste kiss that Marius didn’t know what to do with at  _ all _ . 

“You weren’t kidding about your  _ usefulness _ , Marius.” Brian chuckled softly against his lips. It felt wrong. “I’ll have to spread the word about your  _ true _ skillset: sex.” He laughed properly and turned his head to kiss the underside of Marius’s jaw. The words combined with his good spirits hit Marius in a way that didn’t sit well, but Marius still had one skill he hadn’t used yet, so he forced a smile and pulled away. 

“I think I should get back to my room. That was fun. You know where to find me if you need more of...that.” 

“You sure? You still haven’t—“

“Oh, I did already,” he lied. 

Brian looked startled, then laughed again. “You really are desperate, huh?”

Marius laughed, but his stomach turned even as his dick twitched. “Yeah, well. I need to clean up.”

“Thanks, Marius. Take care.”

Marius took the words as a dismissal and he bolted, making a beeline for his room and throwing himself on the bed so quickly the door hadn’t even slid shut yet. He took himself in hand, not bothering with lube, and jerked himself off mercilessly, gripping with his mechanical hand so hard it hurt as everything Brian has just said to him looped in his head until he came into his hand with a broken cry as he heard Brian say that his knees was where he belonged once again. 

There were tissues on the table beside him, and after cleaning himself off, he grabbed the spare pistol in his drawer and shot himself again for a bit of peace. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I constantly crave validation and this fic is kinda vulnerable tbh so kudos/comments appreciated.
> 
> Shout-out to you angsty pining fuckers in the Stowaways NSFW server. I love you all


End file.
